on Death/Grieving

Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gorged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

Reddit

I guess I assumed eventually I’ll be rejected so I, you know, test people. Push them until they prove me right. It’s a sickness, I admit it.

Community S02E24

Maybe ?

Maybe. . .we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone — a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child — so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.Maybe . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.Maybe . . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happyMaybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Pöst en Facebook

Whatever Works

The religions have been made into corporate businesses, 
the basic intentions of Jesus were good, and also those 
of Marx: share equally, democracy, government by the 
people, do unto others, all great ideas, all suffer from one 
fatal flaw, all based on fallacious notion that people are 
fundamentally decent. We're a failed species, so do whatever 
works if you can filch a little joy in this cruel, dog eat dog 
pointless black chaos. 

Nothing comes to anything, you're all full of misinformation, 
morality, science, religion, sports, love, your portfolio. 
The next generation of idiots will tell you all about life 
and define for you what is appropriate. The speaker's father 
committed suicide because of horror at corruption, 
ignorance, poverty, genocide, aids, global warming, 
terrorism, family values morons, gun morons, the standards 
of a mindless, barbarous civilization. You read about these 
horrors, then turn the page and go on eating your eggs. 
"The horror" Kurtz said at the end of Heart of Darkness.

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak, And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this, the last battle, can't be won.

You will be sad I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand, For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me till the end And hold me firm and speak to me, Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree, It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must be you, Who has to decide this thing to do; We've been so close,we two, these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Reddit

on Revolutions.

 I know what I am talking about when I am talking about the revolutions. The people who read the books go to the people who can't read the books, the poor people, and say, "We have to have a change." So, the poor people make the change, ah? And then, the people who read the books, they all sit around the big polished tables, and they talk and talk and talk and eat and eat and eat, eh? But what has happened to the poor people? They're dead! That's your revolution. Shhh... So, please, don't tell me about revolutions! And what happens afterwards? The same fucking thing starts all over again! 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067140/quotes?qt=qt0297003

Rubicon - Defying Gravity

P.N.R. - Point of No Return. It sounds simple. You step across the line and you focus only on the way ahead. No going back. Sounds like a good way to live life - look only ahead. Put the bad stuff behind you and move on. But that's impossible. Your past always finds you. Even when you think you've let it go.

Passing the point of no return doesn't just happen. It's a choice that we make. A line we decide to cross. And then, we live with the consequences. There are no promises of a positive outcome. No guarantees that, like Caesar, we'll wind up with an empire. All we can really count on is that things will change. And that we'll have to live with the results. And that's the hard part, because we're defined by our past. We can rethink our choices a million times. But what we decide, we own. It becomes a part of who we are. And while we may be crossing the river... our footprints will always remain on the other side.

Asian Population Studies

-          Don't say anything until I say what I got to say. I've known you for almost two years now. And I've never taken you as seriously as I should have. You are the strangest, coolest, most genuine person I've ever met. And the thing that scares me about you is how good you make me wish I was. Help me, Rich. Help me become like you. I mean: I am so amazing. But I'm not perfect. You are. Give me that power, so I can abuse it.

-          Jeff you are one funny bunny. You can't just fake being good in order to get away with doing bad thing.

-          I completely understand that. And do you understand that: I still have to try? And if you don't help me, you're a bad person.

-          You got me there, guy. Come on in, and dry off.

 

Community S02E12

Miguel nunca tuvo perros, no dormía si había uno cerca, le daba terror pensar q moriría dormido y éstos se comerían su cadáver. Qué más daba, estaría ya él muerto para cuando los canes decidieran devorarle. Supongo que quería que alguien pudiera reconocerle por su rostro, y no que tuviera que ser descuartizado para obtener alguna muestra forense y mientras que alguien tuviera la angustia sobre sí era o no. Luego pues, no es que le tuviera miedo a la muerte. Pero qué habría de hacer su familia con esa carga? Mira que los arreglos funerales y el duelo es demasiada carga para que sea su única herencia. Y pues qué hacer? nada. Seguir y esperar que las cosas se arreglen solas. 

Habits are funny things, guided by your actions, yet evolving without your noticing.

Es muy bueno

http://nymag.com/news/features/34985/index2.html

Hoy me acordé de ti

Bieyka de Martínez

Hoy me acordé de ti, no es ninguna novedad,esto es todo los días, pienso en ti en silencio. Lo único que me queda son recuerdos, tus enseñanzas y tus fotos. Dios te tiene en sus brazos y yo en mi corazón. Daría todo por abrazarte otra vez aunque solo sea por un minuto. Ya son 8 años y aún estas presente. Love you Grand Ma ♥♥!

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